Shibari and Empowerment

Shibari and Empowerment

Petite, small, short, call me whatever you want. The fact is I’m a small woman. I won’t say how short, but I mean really short. So, when it comes to my sex life, I’m used to being lifted, carried around, and such. Now, that’s not necessarily bad. Actually, I’ve had some wonderful experiences. However, I’ve always had this feeling of being someone not-so-powerful, of being taken and handled, even though I had agreed to it. That is, until I discovered the relation between Shibari and empowerment.

My current boyfriend, Mark, is a particularly big man—football player kind of big. He’s agile and, most importantly, very gentle, and we’ve done things most couples don’t have the ability to do. Nevertheless, our intimate life has been kind of boring lately. After all, he always leads and I always follow, and we’re both fed up with playing the same roles.

We took a Shibari workshop, just for the fun of it. I had heard all the stereotypes about bad men tying women to make them helpless and take advantage of them. And soon I discovered that it couldn’t be further from the truth. On the contrary, it is all about trust, communication, and mutual joy.

So we came up with this idea: instead of Mark tying me, which would be the obvious choice, I would be the rigger and he would play the bottom for me. Now, I cannot say how empowered I felt when I realized that I could handle and control this big man, just as he could handle me. I also understood how much he trusted me, for he was willing to assume this vulnerable position just to please me.

Believe me, Shibari is not about weakness. There is a link between Shibari and empowerment.

And now we exchange roles every so often and it’s tons of fun!

This is my Shibari story.