A Practice or a Lifestyle

Kinky and BDSM are words that can refer both to a set of practices and, in a wider sense, to a whole lifestyle. This comes as no surprise. The same thing happens with yoga, for example. For some people, it’s just a set of exercises; for others, it is a complete spirituality. In the case of Shibari, deciding whether for you it is a practice or a lifestyle might help you clear up your thoughts about it.

When we talk about a practice, we refer to a specific action for a specific purpose. For example, many people include some form or restraint during their sexual activities. However, they don’t embrace the whole Shibari set of mind. For them, then, bondage is a practice. But it has no impact on their lifestyle or their attitude toward life.

On the other hand, a couple or a group of friends might assume kink as an unconventional lifestyle. And it will permeate all their decisions. For these people, being kinky is not just an added option within a conventional repertoire of activities, but rather a general attitude. 

It’s not that one attitude is better than the other. Vanilla people are entitled to taste kinkiness from time to time. And people committed to the kinky lifestyle have all the right to do so. The real issue here is to consciously know where you are standing between these two extremes.

For example, if a person has fully committed to kink and their partner only sees it a practice, they will need to talk and negotiate the degree in which their relationship will be determined by it. They may agree on bringing it to the bedroom. But they will certainly disagree once they step out of it.

In the end, it is all a matter of being honest with yourself and having a good communication with your partner. And that also applies to many other aspects of life.

What do you think about Shibari? Is it a practice or a lifestyle?