BDSM Terminology You Will Need During the Scene

Now that you know some of the most important terminologies for BDSM conversations, practices and gatherings, it is important to learn the terminology you will use before and during the scene. Being a BDSM practitioner requires speaking in the BDSM language. There are a couple of terms and definitions you should know in order to understand what everyone is talking about, what you will feel, and what to expect.

The Negotiation

One of the first terms you should know is Negotiation: even for the most casual scene, there should be a negotiation, especially between play partners. This will help you determine everything that will happen during a sex. It is the part where you discuss triggers, boundaries and medical issues, determine a safe word, aftercare and what you would like or would not like to happen during the scene. While negotiating, you should also decide if sexual touch is allowed, and what type of scene you are looking to have. Remember that it is very important to be specific: don’t miss out on any detail!

The Protocol

You will need to go through The Protocol prior to a BDSM scene. It is a formalized set of rules that control the interaction between Dominants and submissives. Some of these include the actions and behavioral protocol (like positions) or the speech protocol (the use of honorifics or how suggestions are voiced). Power exchange is common in BDSM terminology. It is where two—or more—people consensually and voluntarily agree to a relationship in which one or more people assume authority. As a result, one half of the couple yields their authority, either for a predetermined time or indefinitely.  

The Subspace & Sub drop

Other terms that you will use or experience during a BDSM scene are Subspace and Sub drop. There are 2 types of Subspace—physical and psychological—which occur when chemicals like adrenalin or serotonin are released during the play. Subspace is not always felt or experienced by everyone—and those who experience it do it in different ways. On the other hand, we have Sub drop which is when your body is trying to go back to normal after those chemicals have been released. It is common to feel emotionally “off” and a bit depressed. A support network, physical activity, dark chocolate, education, journaling, or watching your favourite movie, are something that can help to overcome the Sub drop after the scene.

With all this BDSM terminology you are all set to enjoy any sexual activity. Now go and learn, practice and savor your preferred BDSM practice.