Toxic Myths of Dominance and Submission

It is important to identify the toxic myths of Dominance and Submission. This way, you will build a healthy Dom and Sub relationship and make it more satisfactory.

Some of the toxic myths of Dominance and Submission are unhealthy, unrealistic and ineffective. Instead of allowing you to enjoy your practice, they might cause conflict with your partner.

The first toxic myth is that all Dominants should have the magical power to read the thoughts and desires of the submissive partner. And this, without even having a conversation! This is totally wrong, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, and you must ask and listen to the needs and desires of both participants. Another toxic myth is that a Dominant can solve anything by being firm, assertive and commanding. It is better to discuss things reasonably and test different solutions instead of just demanding things due to the “power” you have.

A dominant can and should be able to command their submissive to kneel and serve however they want is one of the biggest toxic myths of dominance and submission, which comes together with the myths that a true dominant has the wisdom and power to fix over the “broken” submissive. First, any dominance /submissive relationship has a previous consent agreement. If the sub does not want to do something and feels uncomfortable, they don’t need to do it. They can always say no or stop the scene altogether.

Remember that the consent agreement is prior to the scene. A Submissive is never a slave, it is just a role in a scene, that needs respect. In Shibari and in any other BDSM practice, the dominant and submissive roles must be taken seriously in order for things to run smoothly and with any problem.

Image: The Daily Dot