Shibari for the Wrong Reasons

She came to see me at the end of a performance. She wanted Shibari for all the wrong reasons. And she thought it could be summed up like this: step one, tie her; step two, fuck her. She believed a true kinbakushi would spend all the tying time talking dirty to his bottom; and that he should hurt and humiliate her. Finally, she thought it was a “man ties girl” thing.

I couldn’t explain to her how wrong she was in five minutes, while I was picking my tools after the show, so I asked her to come to the studio the next day, when we would be alone. I let her believe things would happen exactly the way she thought. She agreed with a kinky smile.

Next day, she arrived early. You could tell she was really excited for what was about to happen. I pulled out some rope, and passed it through her waist in such a way that she let out a soft moan. And then, when her eyes were glistening with excitement, I started talking and told her the truth about Shibari. I told her about its aesthetic value, about the art involved. I explained to her the emotional connection that grew between top and bottom, which doesn’t necessarily has to be sexual. 

She didn’t believe me, so I asked her if I could tie her. She agreed.

I did my best when I tied her. My purpose, however, was not sensual but emotional. I wanted her to feel just how intense Shibari can be, beyond anything sexual. I helped her rediscover parts of her body she had completely forgotten about. Also, I showed her how we could communicate without saying a word.

By the end of the scene, she was crying. She was overwhelmed with feelings, none of which had anything to do with sex. She had understood the true essence of Shibari. So, she would no longer seek Shibari for the wrong reasons.

This is my Shibari story.