A Couple of Open Letters

A Couple of Open Letters

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A woman, let’s call her Tiffany, has been a rope enthusiast since her teens. She’s now an experienced bondage enthusiast, capable of playing both rigger and bottom. And she loves every minute of every scene she does. Tiffany has a friend; let’s call him Zack. Zack is a hundred percent vanilla. Dirty talking is dirty to him, so he has never tried it. Tiffany and Zack had a discussion about Shibari the other day. To make their points clear, both for others and for themselves, they exchanged a couple of open letters, which we now bring to our readers. Here’s Tiffany’s letter to Zack:

“Dear Zack,

First of all, I want to remind you that you will always be my friend. It’d take a lot more than one argument to make me never want to see you again. Besides, this is not the first time I have discussed my lifestyle with someone. On the contrary, I have learned that not everybody has to agree with me. And I sort of guess what things must look like from the other side, that is, from your side.

You said that bondage is degrading, especially for women. But you seem to forget that everything that happens in a Shibari scene is consensual. This means that participants have previously agreed to it. They both want it to happen. And I think that’s actually quite empowering. 

Have you ever wondered how many non-consensual things happen in a vanilla relationship? I think that, actually, women are better protected in a BDSM relationship, where everything has been previously agreed to, than in a vanilla relationship, in which no clear limits have been established.

Don’t forget that I love you!


What do you think of the first one of a couple of open letters? Do you agree or disagree with Tiffany? What do you think Zack’s answer will be like?

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