Polyamory and Shibari

The dictionary defines “polyamory” as “the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships with the consent of all the people involved.” It’s a definition that contains some important elements that are worthy of separate discussion. First of all, it’s a practice, not a concept. As such, it is similar to other BDSM practices, such as bondage. Secondly, it is defined by a multiplicity of relations among a group of people. People involved in polyamory are part of a group. The nature of these relationships is often sexual. Consequently, it requires explicit consent from all participants involved. Now, let’s talk about polyamory and Shibari, shall we?

Bondage, as any rope enthusiast knows, is also a practice. It’s different from polyamory, however, because it doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual, although it frequently is. They are similar, however, in that both of them demand consent from all participants involved.

We have already spoken about the sexual tension inherent to Shibari. So, it doesn’t sound like a bad idea to bring that tension to the extreme and turn a Shibari partnership into a polyamory group.

Just as in bondage groups, a long negotiation is the first step, if you want to be successful and don’t get anybody hurt. Each person involved must state their preferences, hard limits, and whether there is going to be a certain exclusivity among them.

Turning a bondage group into a sexual fraternity strengthens the bond among participants. To put it in rope terms, the knots get tighter. This can be very fulfilling for participants, as long as it is based on consent and negotiation. Otherwise, the group runs the risk of increased quarrels and, eventually, dissolution.

So, if you and your partners are planning to combine polyamory and Shibari, think it through and put everything on the negotiation table. Remember, the devil is in the details.