Shibari and Disability

I’m not dead. And, I’m not useless. I’m a human being, a woman, a woman who happens to be on a wheelchair because of a car accident. I’m still me, though. I still exist, complete, even if I spend most hours on this wheelchair. Little did I know I would find the connection between Shibari and disability.

My husband and I first came up with the idea of trying Shibari as a way of handling the pain. I don’t say easing the pain, because it never goes away completely, but bondage gave me the opportunity to handle it. It’s like a river, and the ropes control it, just as a system of water channels and dams would do with water. 

From the first moment, I knew what the ultimate goal would be. I told my husband, and he promised he would learn and practice until he could make my dream come true. He has always made my dreams come true. 

We began with simple knots, of course. And, even though my doctors raised their eyebrows more than once, we continued devoting time and effort. Step by step, we uncovered every secret of Shibari. And I’m glad to say that every step of the process brought us closer together as a couple. We’ve talked for endless hours, and we have shared all our feelings, from our most cherished hopes to our darkest shadows of despair. I think we’re closer than ever now. I’m sure about it.

Finally, yesterday was the day I’ve been waiting for. He put extra care in every knot and every safety measure, for he wanted just as much as me that everything worked perfectly. And it did. It was a glorious moment when he pulled the ropes and I was lifted from my wheelchair for fifteen glorious minutes of pure bliss. I am not my chair. I am beautiful. And he told me that, when he saw me standing still above my chair, I was the most precious woman he had ever seen.

I had to go back to the chair, of course. But I’ve beaten it onceg, and now I can beat it every time I want. That’s how I connect Shibari and disability.

I don’t need feet if I can fly.

This is my Shibari story.