Shibari Is not Always Sexual

I made a promise to my family, and I love them. They trust me and I won’t fail them. I know it might sound weird: a girl promising not to have sex before marriage, but they’re my family and I want to make them happy. Moreover, it’s my beliefs we’re talking about. I think it is the right thing to do, even if another part of me wants it so bad. And since Shibari is not always sexual, is through it that I found a solution.

Now, I promised something very specific, but what I did not promise was living like an oyster, all locked up inside my shell. I can go to parties. And I can have fun. I even have a boyfriend. By the way, he is very supportive of my convictions. And yet, he is a boy, and he wants us to be together just as much as I want to.

Now, this is what I call a big problem. And big problems call for bold solutions. I won’t lie. Since I knew I would never break my promise, I started looking for alternative solutions. Something that would allow me and my boyfriend to be together, while not being together, at least not in the usual way.

And that’s when Shibari comes in. Shibari is first and foremost an art, an aesthetic performance. Shibari is not always sexual. It doesn’t have to be. I told my boyfriend, and we decided to take a workshop together. We enjoyed each class, not just because we were stepping into a completely unknown territory, but because we knew that every lesson brought us closer to our goal.

Just as if we were gonna have sex, we planned it ahead. Just as for having sex, we looked for a private, intimate place where we could be alone. Exactly like any other couple would do for sexual intercourse, we got naked. But then came the big difference. He tied me up. He loved me by doing it and by contemplating me as a work of art. And then he untied me and cared for me as I recovered. And nothing sexual happened, so I kept the promise I did to my family.

This is my Shibari story.