Vulnerability in Shibari
When people talk about BDSM, they frequently mention domination and submission, fetishes, and special settings, among others. However, there is an important aspect of BDSM that most people overlook, despite being as crucial as the others: vulnerability. That’s why in this article, we’ll discuss vulnerability in the context of Shibari.
Vulnerability means you’re open to the possibility of someone else hurting you. It means accepting the risk of feeling pain or suffering. Not by themselves, but as a prerequisite to achieving a higher level of pleasure or a state of happiness. Those who acknowledge vulnerability are the only ones who can experience the highest levels of joy, love, and satisfaction. Those who are not willing to be vulnerable exclude themselves from the possibility of enjoying the best things in a relationship. And this also applies to life in general.
In Shibari, vulnerability begins with the potential for physical injury. In any scene, no matter how carefully planned, there is always a risk of muscular or nerve damage. However, participants knowingly proceed with the scene because the pleasure and sense of achievement they derive from it outweigh their concerns about the risks involved.
There is also psychological vulnerability in Shibari. The person who is being tied, known as the “bottom,” is restrained, placing their well-being in the hands of the person doing the tying, known as the “rigger.” Similarly, the rigger assumes the responsibility for both participants, which can be a heavy burden.
In Shibari, as well as in all BDSM practices, people openly acknowledge their most intimate desires. They do this regardless of how “abnormal” society might perceive them. This creates a strong sense of vulnerability. This is not surprising, individuals often spend most of their lives hiding their true selves. And the same happens to their deepest and most intimate intentions.
In the end, being kinky is being vulnerable, as those who identify as kinky place themselves on “the other side” of reality, in the realm of alternative lifestyles.
