Shibari for Life

They said it was impossible. They said I would never be able to do it. And they said I had to be crazy just to think it could ever happen. And I wanted to prove them wrong. I also wanted my life back. You see, other people do Shibari for fun, or for pleasure. I do Shibari for life.

I’m a survivor. I won’t go into any detail, but I can tell you that the damned Chinese bug gave me a really hard time. I survived, and I’m grateful for it. But I hated being unable to sing or scream. Likewise, I hated every second of the recovery therapy. Breath, hold, exhale. One, two, three. Someday, in just six or nine months, we will do it and count all the way up to ten.

I hated it. It made me feel miserable.

I had survived, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to be the full version of me again, not this weakened copy. So, I thought about the thing that I should never, under any circumstance, try in my present condition. And that was Shibari. No one would agree to tie me after knowing that I have a “temporary respiratory condition”, as the doctors call my own, personal demon. No one did. I couldn’t find a rigger who would agree to tie me. But I needed it badly. I needed to prove to the whole world that I was no crippled. 

That’s when my friend Veronica agreed to help me. She’s been my friend all my life, so I knew I could trust her. She took many classes and watched a lot of videos, until she was sure she could tie me competently. We set a date. And the night before I couldn’t sleep.

I followed all the indications: having a light meal and not too much water before the scene, having an emergency pair of scissors, and such. When she tied the first knot, I was so anxious I felt I couldn’t breathe. My demon understood what was happening, and he grabbed me by the throat, making me feel as if I couldn’t breathe. “Not this time, pal. This is the day you go down!” I focused only on achieving my goal and, after what seemed like hours to me, I was completely tied.

That was the day I really started to recover. That’s why I do Shibari for life.

This is my Shibari story.