Trying Hojojutsu

You name it, and, if it is extreme, I’ve done it. 100 feet bungee jumping, kayaking in wild rivers, eating poisonous insects (sometimes, while they were still alive), I’ve done it all! I like the rush of adrenaline. I’m addicted to it, and I won’t deny it. And yet, trying Hojojutsu for the first time was an experience unlike any other.

I had already done bondage. Curiously enough, I don’t like playing top. Maybe it’s because I like to dominate my own fears, not other people. I like to break my boundaries, not somebody else’s. That’s why, when I decided to try Hojojutsu, I wanted to be the one suffering the torture, not the one inflicting it.

It took me some time, but I found a Japanese master who could actually perform Hojojutsu. He warned that it was no joyride. But that only increased my willingness to try it. Now, you may think I’m crazy for voluntarily giving myself to torture, but you don’t get the point. I don’t like suffering by suffering’s sake, but to show that I can overcome whatever life or anybody else throws at me.

It was hard, I won’t lie. I had no idea that rope could be so uncomfortable, harsh, and suffocating. I mean, the guy was using exactly the same standard Shibari equipment that I use whenever I get tied up. And yet, it felt so different! We were barely fifteen minutes into it, when I first felt the urgency to say: “Stop!”, but I made an effort, and didn’t say a word. That happened again and again, until, at the twelfth time, I surrendered and asked him to stop.

I’m going to train really hard, so that next time I won’t stop until the twentieth time. That’s the way I’ve vanquished all previous challenges in my life.

This is my Shibari story.

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