Untying Myself

Untying myself won’t be easy. I‘m stuck. Moreover, I can’t move. Time goes by and every second is running against me. Either I find the strength to release myself or I’m doomed. Now, if I let panic take hold of me, I won’t be able to think clearly. And I need to think. So, I need a plan to get out of here. That is, I need my mind stable, calm, despite everything.

“I was stuck. I couldn’t move. There was a lot of snow, I should have slowed down. But I couldn’t miss the meeting the next morning. What an idiot! Now I’m struggling to survive and I’ll never make that damn meeting. Something hurts and I think I’m bleeding. But I can’t focus on that right now. I need a clear and calm mind to figure out how to get out of here.”

Shibari is all about discipline and concentration. I learned that in the workshops I have taken. Now, I’ve found the exact point of the knot I was looking for. I can untie myself if I move my fingers in a certain way and if I think about every step, carefully.

“Who would have thought that the discipline I developed in Shibari would help me in this situation? I’ve found the exact point I was looking for. Now I can open the car door and walk away from the wreckage. Once I’m outside, I’ll look for help. But right now, I’m here, and I have to focus on what I’m doing.”

I’m free! I fill my lungs with air. Then, I stretch my legs and activate all my muscles. I did it!

“I’m free! I take half a dozen breaths of fresh air, and then start moving slowly to see if all my bones and muscles are working. It seems like I’m going to survive. I did it!”

Shibari gave me the skills I needed to survive my accident. And now I like to recreate that trauma using bondage, so that I can rejoice again in the conquest of my fears, and the taste of life and freedom. Untying myself helps me.

This is my Shibari story.