Tag: psychology of shibari

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The Morality of Shibari

Many people, especially those with a mainstream mindset, are quite suspicious about the whole business of BDSM practices. It doesn’t matter that psychologists have already agreed that alternative lifestyles and sexual practices are not symptomatic of mental illness by themselves, they still have their doubts. And when it comes to the morality of Shibari, they…
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Shibari and Identity

The building of an identity is one of the main concerns in today’s society. Most people believe that everyone has the right to develop their own personality the way they want. How does Shibari come into the picture? Well, there’s a stronger relationship between Shibari and identity than you think. First of all, Shibari can…
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Spirituality and Bondage

Shibari is a multi-layered experience. There’s the physical event of tying and being tied. Also, participants experience an emotional connection and a power dynamic among them. Anyone can see that there’s artistic value in any given scene. And, finally, there is also a spiritual dimension to the scene. In this article, we explore the relationship…
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Shibari and Desire

Desire is part of the human condition. We all want something, and, once we get it, we want something else. Desires might be as basic as a cheeseburger and as complex as winning a Nobel Prize or becoming a member of Congress. Shibari is no stranger to desire. Actually, there’s a strong link between Shibari…
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About Vulnerability

They told us to be strong. Also, they told us to despise weak people. And self-pity was the greatest crime of all. They taught us to be strong, and they told us it was wrong to show vulnerability. And yet, there’s a lot to say about what the pandemic taught us about vulnerability. We discovered…
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The Sense of Community

You might have heard of the BDSM community, the bondage community, and so forth. This word, “community”, not only makes reference to a group of people, but it is a wider concept that includes emotional and psychological factors. In this article, we discuss the importance of a sense of community among Shibari lovers. In its…
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Kink Is OK, Part II

In a previous article, we mentioned the changes to the most recent edition of the DSM, the “official” psychological guide to mental disorders. From now on, psychologists will not consider kink as a pathology. Instead, it becomes a set of “unusual sexual interests.” It is only when there is a lack of consent, abuse, or…
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Discipline and Self-Improvement

Everybody wants to be better than they are, but not everybody is willing to pay the price. Discipline is a word that doesn’t sound nice to most people’s ears. However, as any bondage practitioner knows, without discipline, self-improvement is impossible. That’s why discipline and self-improvement always go together in Shibari. Discipline is doing what you…
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Trauma and Kink

Zadist Hkm, one of the members of the “Free the Kink” Facebook group, posted a text about trauma and kink. As any practitioner knows, there are several, intense psychological factors involved in bondage and all other kinks.  Though brief, Zadist’s post is full of insight. For him, trauma is an altered perception of ourselves. “This…
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No Guilt Attached

I love Michael, so I had to tell him my secret. We had been dating for six months and things were getting serious between us. I really wanted us to grow closer, but I realized that, if I wasn’t totally honest with him, it would all end up in disaster. Little did I know that,…
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