About Vulnerability

They told us to be strong. Also, they told us to despise weak people. And self-pity was the greatest crime of all. They taught us to be strong, and they told us it was wrong to show vulnerability. And yet, there’s a lot to say about what the pandemic taught us about vulnerability. We discovered that it was not only positive but also unavoidable. And then we discovered that BDSM has a lot to say about it.

Vulnerability means opening ourselves to things that can hurt us. Of course, jumping into the tiger’s den makes no sense. That is, opening ourselves to whatever is harmful is not assuming vulnerability but being reckless. Vulnerability is something different. We open up and take the risk of being hurt because there is a chance of being happy. It’s what we do every time, in our human relations. We bring a person into our lives, hoping that it will be good for both of us, despite the risks. Vulnerability is the price we pay for connecting with others, sharing with them, and, ultimately, loving them.

The pandemic taught us about vulnerability because it showed us that every day is a risk. It has always been that way, but we prefer to forget it and live as if we were invulnerable. But we’re not. That reminder is one of the greatest legacies of those years when we worried about the pandemic.

BDSM has explored the topic of vulnerability since long before the pandemic. Anyone who has been involved in a power dynamic knows that it is one of the key factors. We open up to someone else, allowing them to hurt us if they want to. But we do it hoping that they won’t hurt us. And when that hope becomes true and the other person gives us back our vulnerability untouched, it’s not only happiness but pure bliss that we feel.