BDSM practices require skill, imagination, and a strong sense of responsibility toward the other participants involved. In the case of subs, it is not easy to find someone with whom to share their vulnerability. That’s why many subs prefer older partners, who already have experience developing relationships within a power dynamic and performing different practices.
We live in a world that values youth, sometimes to the point of irrationality. However, when it comes to sharing your vulnerabilities, someone inexperienced might not be the best choice. This is the reason behind the generalized preference of subs for older partners.
This is not falling into reverse ageism. Rather, it is an acknowledgment that experience is valuable. Older partners are more likely to come from previous relationships. This means that they have firsthand experience of the joys and pitfalls that kinky partners experience through their time together.
Although this may sound like prejudice, statistics show that younger people are more prone to risk. This is not very desirable when you’re doing a Shibari scene, and there’s a real possibility of injury. That doesn’t mean, of course, that all younger partners are reckless, and all older partners have a strong sense of responsibility. However, it is a tendency that subs take into consideration when they choose partners.
So, if you’re a mature person and you’re reading this, cheer up! Your experience and years of knowledge are perhaps exactly what younger subs are looking for. On the other hand, if you’re young and you’re reading this, instead of getting angry because subs prefer older partners, try to develop a stronger sense of responsibility and take every opportunity available to improve your skills. In both cases, your subs will appreciate your efforts, and it will get better for everyone, which is what we all want in the end.