Nothing Wrong with Fantasies

There’s nothing wrong with fantasies. I know that. I tell it to my clients every single day. Allow me to elaborate. I studied psychology, and I specialize in neurotic behavior. My customers are an array of unsatisfied people, men and women who can’t leave old grudges behind, and, in general, people who feel frustrated because they are not who they want to be. The measure of their insatisfaction may vary from case to case, but the basic problem is the same.

Take Amani, for example; she’s one of my most notable clients. She’s 27 and extremely beautiful. She has Arabian and black ancestry and, somehow, got the best of each of them. Amani has an obssesion with sex fantasies of a very specific kind. She imagines herself in bondage scenes, spanking practices, and even CNC events. She has a conflict with that because she thinks an empowered woman in the 21st century should not enjoy submission and punishment. But she likes it anyway and frequently indulges in such mental images when she’s involved in self-pleasure.

I’ve been trying to convince Amany that there is nothing wrong with those fantasies. By digging into her life experiences, we’ve come to an interesting conclusion. She has always been beautiful. Therefore, there has always been male attention—wanted and unwanted—upon her. Consequently, she has developed a desire to please. And the best way she can do that, she imagines, is by giving herself to those who want her. That’s why the constant factor in all those fantasies is an attitude of selflessness. In other words, since she knows men like her, she assumes in her fantasies a “do-whatever-you-want-to-me” posture.

Of course, this comes into conflict with Western ideas of female empowerment and autonomy. And that’s why Amani doesn’t allow herself to experience these fantasies in reality. Interesting, isn’t it?

Fantasies tell us who we are and what we want. That’s why I think there’s nothing wrong with fantasies.