The Power of Being Powerless

Amy is 28. Also, she has been playing bottom for ten years in a small studio in Nantucket. She rents her services as a bottom. And, judging by the number of clients she has, she’s very successful. We talked to Amy about the experience of playing bottom, and she came up with an expression that sums up her take on the matter: the power of being powerless.”

Amy explains that “many people believe three misconceptions about bottoms. First, that they do nothing. Second, that they are helpless. And third, that they are less important than the top. But, as it happens with all misconceptions, these ideas couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“To begin with, a bottom is an active participant in a scene. Bottoms who remain passive and static end up ruining their scenes. Not moving doesn’t mean not doing anything. You have to get involved in the scene, and communicate, and check if things are going well. That’s a lot of work, if you ask me.”

“As for the idea of helplessness, it comes from people who confuse restraint with inaction. A bottom cannot move, that’s for sure. But, in the power dynamic present in any scene, the bottom has as much power as the top. It is easier to understand once you have the experience of being tied.”

“And, finally, a bottom is as important as a rigger. This should be obvious. I mean, bondage is like dancing; it takes two people. Otherwise, you’re just fooling yourself. There are riggers who have tried to use trees, rocks, or dolls, instead of bottoms. It has never worked well. Shibari, as any artistic practice, is a human activity. Therefore, it requires real people with feelings and emotions and a certain temper. And that’s all fine, if you ask me. I believe in the power of being powerless.” 

We believe in it, too, Amy.