Vanilla and Kinki

Vanilla and Kinki are not opposites, but rather the extremes of a continuous that go from the more conventional kind of sex practices to the weirdest. It is important that you know them, so that you can enjoy a wider diversity in your intimate life.

Vanilla means normal. Now, remember that the definition of normal changes from culture to culture and from time to time. Something considered normal fifty years ago —for example, thinking of a wife’s orgasm as dirty— is not ordinary today. So, the first advice to better understand vanilla is to realize what is normal within your social context. 

Vanilla doesn’t necessarily mean boring. Actually, just as in many other activities, including some ordinary touches in the weirdest practices can provide an interesting rhythm. This is similar to intense, strong scenes followed by others that are calmer and more thoughtful, in a movie or a book. Keep this in mind and try to give your Shibari scene a rhythm, an alternation of strong and soft moments. You will see how it improves.

Kinki, on the other hand, refers to whatever is not normal, according to the prevalent social standards. This is the realm of your creativity, and you should not lose the opportunity to think about what you want. For example, roleplay and ageplay are considered kinki, since they are not standard sexual practices. However, given the proper conditions—above all, consent—any kinki practice is acceptable.

The variety of kinki is endless. If you do a quick search, you will see that it includes lots of different practices, from the ones that are closest to vanilla, to the ones that are farther from it. Give yourself a chance to explore and understand, so that you can pick those that appeal to your and your partner’s tastes.

The perfect combination of vanilla and kinki is for every couple or group to decide.