Shibari and Taboos

The dictionary defines a taboo as something that is prohibited or restricted by social custom. In our era of tolerance and open-mindedness, it might seem like a totally outdated notion. And yet, as cancellation culture reminds us, there are still many taboos. Likewise, there are many puritans of all sorts. Since bondage is becoming more mainstream, it is important to explore the relationship between Shibari and taboos.

Perhaps the biggest taboo in our time is that of violence against women. Feminist activism has brought this issue to the forefront of public debate. If we remember that the basis of Shibari is restraint, we realize that, for some people, it might look like a case of violence against women, especially if we consider that most bottoms are female, even though there are more female riggers every time.

The answer to the problem specified in the previous paragraph is a complex one. For one part, Shibari involves restraint, but it doesn’t end there, as any true practitioner knows. There is also an artistic element, and an emotional dynamic. We must take both of them into consideration for a true understanding of a scene.

Related to that first taboo is the one of male dominance. A man tying a woman, as is usually the case in Shibari, doesn’t look too empowering for the female sex. Add to that the fact that, on most occasions, the woman might well be naked or scantily dressed, and that the tying may end up in sexual intercourse, and you’ll realize just how easily a person with a feminist view will see a case of woman objectification going on.

However, and this is Shibari’s best defense against these notions, nothing happens in a scene without consent. Participants have previously consented to every part of the scene. Consent is the key to upholding Shibari against the accusation of violence.

What do you think about the connection between Shibari and taboos?