Shibari Is an Emotional Bond

I tied her, as I used to do. I told her it was going to be as it had always been. But I lied. I knew she had betrayed me. I was blind with anger. At some point, she suspected there was something wrong, but I hid my feelings as best as I could. If she became suspicious, she wouldn’t have let me tie her. And I needed to do it again, just one more time. I needed to take revenge. I realized much later that Shibari is an emotional bond and that I could use it.

She had cheated on me. I knew it. I had proof. But she didn’t know I knew, and I wanted to take advantage of that. So, I tied her, just as I used to do. We used to enjoy Shibari together. I loved tying her and looking at her, so fragile and beautiful. She admired my strength and my skill. That was fine. We had it all. Why did she have to ruin it?

I had a dozen opportunities to hurt her. You know, a knot too tight, a little bit more of friction, but I didn’t. I thought I was saving it for the end. After all, that was my original plan: I was going to tie her and then hurt her when she was the most vulnerable. That way, she would realize just how much she had hurt me. But I was beginning to realize I wasn’t going to be capable of hurting her.

When I was tying the last knot, she began sobbing. So, I asked her if something was wrong. I wanted her to say “yes”, so that I could start taking revenge, but instead, she said:

—I know you know. I’m sorry.

That’s when I realized what a strong connection we had developed through Shibari. Even our most hidden emotions surfaced, without the need for words. Wasn’t it beautiful? Wasn’t it worth it to forgive?

I never took my revenge. We talked. We cried. We’re trying to pull the pieces together. We’re willing to fight for our relationship, because Shibari showed us just how strong is the bond between us. For us, Shibari is an emotional bond.

This is our Shibari story.