Negotiation in Shibari

Negotiations a method by which people settle differences. It is a process to reach an agreement, while avoiding argument and dispute. In Shibari, consent and negotiation come together. Explicit consent is very important. You can’t rely only on implied consent for a scene, since there will be room for misinterpretation.

In Shibari, it is very to learn how to properly and usefully negotiate with your partner. Ask the questions and listen to your partner. Make sure you understand their motivations and boundaries. Make sure you give clear and concise information about your wishes and boundaries and make sure you understand your partners. It is important to understand the difference between “want to” and “willing to”. I would recommend starting simple in your negotiations and leave the difficult negotiations to the last part, otherwise, you will take very long with one negotiation and won’t have time to negotiate for more. And with this comes the time.. take the time to negotiate with your partner, do not rush it.

For a negotiation to be achieved in a desirable outcome in both parts, a structure is recommended in order to approach that negotiation. The process of negotiation includes the following stages: Preparation, Discussion, Clarification of goal, negotiation toward a mutual agreement, and the implementation of the negotiation. Although it sounds like a long process, it is important.

In a negotiation, it is very important to keep an open mind in order to achieve an acceptable solution, where all the agreements need to be made clear so that both sides know what has been decided. And don’t forget to end your negotiation with the question Is there anything else to discuss or negotiate about before beginning? You might have missed something important.

Now you know how important is negotiation in Shibari.

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