Safety First

It was the most important Shibari exhibition in the area. Among the events, there was going to be a suspension contest. I wanted to win. I needed to win, no matter what. They always say: “safety first“, but this time I forgot about it.

Shauna has been my bottom for the last three years. She’s great!, very committed and reliable. However, she still feels afraid whenever we try suspension. The moment I lift her from the floor, she always gets uncomfortable. 

For the contest, we had to try the highest suspension we’ve ever aimed for. There was no other way to win. And I needed to win, no matter what. For several weeks before the contest, we practiced suspensions almost every day. For the first time, Shauna was getting moody and uncooperative. It was obvious she was getting stressed, but I didn’t care. I had to win, no matter what.

On the last day of training, when we practiced the high suspension, just like we were going to do in the contest, she fainted. I took her to see a doctor. It wasn’t anything serious, but none of my bottoms had fainted before. I couldn’t sleep that night.

We didn’t practice the high suspension again. So, when we got to the exhibition, we didn’t know whether we were going to succeed, or it was all going to end up in disaster. I wanted to win, no matter what, and so I was focused and ready. Shauna, however, was becoming increasingly nervous.

When it finally was our turn, I immediately began tying her for the high suspension. And yet, I could barely look at her face, for she was terrified. I realized that this isn’t what Shibari is about; at least, not my kind of Shibari. So, instead of the high suspension, I did a beautiful figure at ground level. When Shauna understood what I was doing, she smiled. And the strong emotion I had always felt between us, came back.

We didn’t win, but I couldn’t care less. Safety goes first.

This is my Shibari story.