The True Meaning of Submission

You might think of submission as allowing yourself to be controlled, being passive, losing your own will. You’re wrong. Submission is as powerful as dominance. It’s just that it is a different kind of power. Let me tell you my story, so that you understand the true meaning of submission.

I had never heard of Shibari before, but I saw an ad asking for a girl to play “bottom” in a Shibari scene. The pay was good, so I took the job. He was a mature man, almost old, who was a businessman and an amateur photographer. He was showing interest in Shibari for its aesthetic value, and he needed a model. That’s when I came into the picture.

At first, I hated it. I thought I was being used like some sort of toy. Staying motionless and quiet made me feel like a doll, not a person. I was about to quit, when I realized that it was I who had control over every single aspect of the scene. It was my attitude that made it a great day or a waste of time; it was my emotions that mattered. The whole studio, with its expensive equipment, was there for me, not for him. I was the artist and what he did was capture my art in an image.

That was so liberating for me! Eventually, of course, I came to acknowledge his contribution to the scene. What he did was as important as what I did. The point is that we had become partners in beauty. We worked together to create something alluring and each of us gave our best. 

I’ve worked as a Shibari bottom for many other artists ever since. I have met interesting people and I have acted in many roles, which have given me insights about unknown aspects of my personality. Shibari has been the door to a whole world of new experiences for me. Now I know the true meaning of submission.

This is my Shibari story.