Ladina and Andreas: She Enjoys When He Causes Her Pain

Ladina and Andreas: She Enjoys When He Causes Her Pain

Shibari is the art of tying—and it can save relationships. For example, here’s the story of Ladina and Andreas.

Ladina and Andreas

Ladina closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She drinks the smell of the hemp rope with which her husband Andreas caresses her face. His features become smooth and peaceful, taking on an expression of blissful anticipation. Ladina knows it. In the next few minutes, her husband will tie her up, exercise total control, and inflict pain on her. “There will be intimate moments that you will share with me,” she tells the friend and journalist.

Submit and feel pain as pleasure: Ladina already knew this fascination as a child. “For example, I imagined it was my kindergarten teacher’s dog and that she kept me on a leash,” she looks back. An amazing admission. Because the woman in her early forties is a happy and confident person. The woman in her forties does not allow anything or anyone to corner her. “I’m only the boss when we tie,” Andreas says with a cute smile on his face.

Ladina kneels on the floor in tight gym clothes. Andreas, also on his knees, stands behind her. With his hands, he moves it to the correct position. He pushes her back, tilts his head slightly, and dries his hair to the side. As a result, the white neck becomes visible in all its vulnerability. Ladina is already in another world: the wax is in the hands of Andrea.

“You can be a pervert,” Andreas said many years ago when Ladina explained that he likes rough sex. “At first I was totally overwhelmed,” he says today. “For example, it was very difficult for him to hit me in the face,” Ladina adds. The couple experimented with Sado-Maso toys you can find in any adult market, such as whips and handcuffs. At first, it was all about sex. But then came the moment when they changed their coexistence and raised their passion to a new level. They discovered Shibari, the Japanese art of tying (see box). That was at a time when their relationship was in crisis. Shibari should become your lifeline.

Photo: iStockphoto

Suddenly, he surrounds her, grabs her by the arms, and turns her back. Now it’s the time for the first hemp rope. He ties her hands first and then her upper arms—which she then attaches to her upper body with another rope. Meanwhile, he hugs and caresses her, jerks her back with the ropes. Then he leans her forward again until her face touches the ground. Sweets and S Aures, carrot and stick. Soon he tied his wife like a bundle that he can lift at will and drag across the floor like a heavy suitcase.

At this point, the two end their session. But if Ladina and Andreas were alone with H mice in the basement of their perfect single-family home in a quiet neighbourhood in a typical Bernese city, the two of them might now have sex. Or maybe not. In Japanese bondage, to which Ladina and Andreas have committed to for a few years, sex is a drag, but not an obligation. The focus is on the strings and pain, the tension between dominance and submission—between dominating and being dominated. And, last but not least, it’s in the pure aesthetics.

If Ladina and Andreas were housed to H, the bondage of the arms and upper body might have been just the prelude. The installer would have tied his model—which is the name of the active and passive participant in the bondage scene—even more so. He would have bound her legs and hung her from a sturdy crossbar in a position that was already painful to watch and continued the bittersweet the game. Ladina’s pain would have grown more intense, and her trance deeper.

Photo: Keystone

She Enjoys When He Causes Her Pain

Shibari has neither pink stuffed handcuffs or other nonsense that became popular in connection with Fifty Shades of Gray. Shibari is the world of strings, the world of aesthetics, role-playing, and communication. “The rigger communicates with his model through the ropes,” explains Andreas. “You have to watch exactly how you react and figure out what you want and how far you can go.”

As you can see, the story of Ladina and Andreas is one of exorbitant pleasure. It is, too, an exploration of self-discovery and the discovery of the other. Their story is proof that Shibari can save a marriage.

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