Taking Back Consent

“You gotta do what you gotta do. Taking back consent is hard; there is no doubt about that. But, sometimes, it is the only way out of a toxic relationship. I mean, taking back consent doesn’t necessarily mean breaking up. On the contrary, it might strengthen the relationship in the long term, even if, in the moment, it feels bad and hurts. I’ll say it’s like one of those medicines: it doesn’t taste well, but it’s good for you.” Brianna, 25.

“I’ve never taken back consent, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it if I had to. It’s like an emergency button. And you should know that you can always press it, if things go wrong. That kind of safety net allows me to take risks and try new things.” Daniel, 29.

“I think there should be a warning before taking back consent. You know, you should try talking to your partner first. Then, if they don’t do anything to solve the problem, you can go ahead and take back consent, without feeling like you’re being too rough.” Wilson, 34.

“I had the experience of taking back consent. And it doesn’t feel good, believe me. But my boyfriend had developed a tendency to renegotiate things in the middle of a scene. Now, I’m the kind of person who just lets their mind wonder when they’re playing bottom. So it happened that I didn’t even remember having renegotiated my terms. And it didn’t happen just once. The more I think about it, the more I believe that is toxic behavior. And I’m happy I stood up against it. I’m not an expert of any kind, but my advice, as someone who has through the experience herself, is: If you have to do it, just do it.”

How about you? What are your thoughts on taking back consent?