Shibari Is an Invisible Bond

It was devastating. I mean, we’ve been together for thirty years. We’re getting old. And you know that things change. But to have some doctor decree that you’re sex life is over, and that you should be grateful because your husband could have died, is simply, as I said, devastating. Little did I know that only later we would find out that Shibari is an invisible bond.

He was demoralized, totally. He had been such a great lover. And to realize that he could no longer perform was totally saddening for him. So, I was eager to try anything to make him feel happy. Anything that could substitute what we’d had in the bedroom for so many years. And that’s when I learned about Shibari.

I immediately realized the value of bondage. But it took him longer to understand that Shibari could substitute our intimate life. It was as beautiful, as tender, and as sensual as sex. And I wanted him to acknowledge that.

We tried half a dozen workshops before getting a result. But then, one day he said: “You must trust me to let me tie you”. And I said “I trust you my life every day, and I’ve never been disappointed”. Then he realized that, when he tied me, I was all his, just as I belonged to him when we were in bed together. He understood that he could do anything to me, because I always had found pleasurable whatever he did to me. He came to acknowledge that he could be as skillful with ropes as he had once been with his body. And that I would receive all his attention and emotion, just as I had received him on my body before.

He gradually understood that Shibari is an invisible bond, as strong and as beautiful as sex was before. And he’s very happy about it.

This is my Shibari story.