Predatory Behavior

Predatory behavior is a term to define those who abuse their role as riggers. It also includes those who take advantage of the vulnerability of the person tied. Most Shibari and BDSM practitioners are responsible people who want to enjoy an alternative sexual lifestyle, without harming anyone. However, as in any activity, there will always be the risk of coming into the way of an abusive person.

Therefore, it is very important to have a safety net. That is, a group of people to whom you inform of your dates and activities, so that, in case of trouble, they quickly find out that something is wrong and can provide help. 

You should always research the background of the persons you’re going to do the scene with. This is especially important if they are new partners with whom you haven’t worked before. Establish a vetting system and give yourself the right to change your mind. Don’t doubt to step back if you feel there is a potentially harmful situation. You should never participate in a Shibari or BDSM scene if you do not feel comfortable.

Also, it is essential to establish a code of warning for the scene, in case something goes wrong. It can be a word, colors, body signals or whatever works for you. The important thing is to always have some way to let your partner know that something is wrong or that you are not feeling comfortable.

Try to identify the personality of your partner. Predatory behavior may come from people who get over-excited by the power dynamic that unleashes in a Shibari scene. It can also be that they have a wrong idea of what dominance or consent is, so you should discuss this thoroughly. Finally, although hard to acknowledge, we must say that, as in every walk of life, there are predators hidden in the community. So, keep a close eye on your partners.

You should not lose the joy of Shibari, but be aware.