Intimacy in Shibari

Shibari is not just about ropes. Of course, tying is the essence of Shibari. However, in any scene there is a lot more going on than just that. Actually, in Shibari there’s a great deal of intimacy. Acknowledging the intimate connection between participants is the first step toward a more intense bond through ropes.

Intimacy is what you wouldn’t willfully share with others; something you keep to yourself. In the case of relationships, there is a whole range of connections. They can go from the public and impersonal, to the most intimate and profound. In an intimate relationship, you share things and thoughts you wouldn’t share with anyone else.

Shibari is a great vehicle for intimacy. It is something you cannot do with just anyone, or very often. This grants it an aura of something exceptional that you share with someone special. When you play bottom, you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position, and you don’t do that with people you don’t know, or like, very well. On the other hand, if you play top, you have a kind of commitment toward the bottom’s welfare that can only be had for someone dear. Also, both participants make a great effort, both physical and psychological; something not worth sharing with someone you don’t know, or with whom you don’t have much in common.

A Shibari scene leaves marks. These can be physical, like those from rope friction and the biochemical dynamic during a scene; or psychological, like silent communication, mutual commitment, and intense emotions. It’s not like going to a fair with someone you barely know or enjoying a concert with whomever happens to be beside you. You choose the scene and you choose your partner(s).

As you can see, Shibari is a sensual and exciting path toward intimacy for any kind of couple.