Mental Domination

First of all, a disclaimer: domination is not abuse. Domination is a consensual relation in which one of the parts agrees to act submissively and the other agrees to play a dominant role. Having said that, it is important to notice that, even though we usually think of domination as an act of physical power, there is also a mental dimension to domination. So, what exactly is mental domination? Read the article and find out.

Just as physical domination aims at the body, mental domination aims at the mind of the submissive partner. It is about controlling the thoughts and emotions of the submissive partner, in such a way, that they will even be grateful for it.

Mental domination during a bondage scene begins by providing relaxation to the bottom. By helping them relax their bodies, you make their minds wander around. And that implies putting down the usual psychological defenses with which all of us, during the day, protect ourselves from external interventions.

Once you have your bottom totally relaxed, you can proceed to the next step. This consists in the embracement of kink. You see, one of the strongest mental barriers is guilt. And many people feel shame about being kink, because they have been taught that it is not “normal”. 

The most effective way to achieve mental domination over someone is to earn their absolute trust. That’s why you have to be as skillful as you can be as a rigger. Bottoms who feel they can trust their tops no matter what are the most submissive.

Another important element of mental domination is leading. Before the scene you should discuss and negotiate every detail. However, when the time to act arrives, stop asking questions and do what you have to do.

Finally, to complete the system of mental domination over your bottom, show them that you’re totally focused on them and on the development of the scene. Nothing is less dominant than a distracted, careless rigger.