No Machos Allowed

“No Machos Allowed”, that’s my motto. I take gender issues very seriously. I mean, I really hate it when a man abuses a woman. And I think it all comes down to men who were educated to be machos, both around other men, and toward women.

Now, if you saw my boyfriend Roger, you would never guess I have such strong opinions on the issue. Roger is strong and tough. He could be the perfect macho, but he isn’t. And that’s because I know how to handle him. I use Shibari.

You see, in our scenes, he can play the macho character all the way over the top. I let him do that so that he won’t do it in our regular life. While he’s yelling all his macho repertoire, I tie him firmly, just the way I like it. (I play rigger, and that also helps to erase his gender-biased education). After that, when I finish, I mock his macho persona, so that he can see that, while I love him, I won’t stand a bit of disrespect or oppression. No machos allowed, I mean it.

The results of this bondage pedagogy have been wonderful! Despite coming from a very patriarchal family, Roger has been able to distance himself from all those stereotypes and gender roles. He has become a better version of himself. And I love him more than ever. 

I’m sure that, one day, when I untie him, his macho character will be gone forever. And I know that he will be grateful that I helped him to leave it behind. He’s better than that, and a lot more than that.

For me, ropes are truly magic instruments. It is through that I found my art and my specific kink preferences. And it is thanks to bondage that I know can share everything in my life with Roger.

This is my Shibari story.