Secret Shibari

She was cheating on me. I knew it. It was as ordinary as it could be. She was away for hours on very specific days and times, and I decided to follow her. I’m not happy to admit it, but I was desperate. And I was totally heartbroken when I saw her entering an apartment building and leaving an hour later. I had no idea that I would discover secret Shibari.

I confronted her that night. And, I tried to hide from her the fact that I knew that she had a lover, that I knew where he lived, but I couldn’t. I spent a couple hours tossing incessantly in bed, until she asked me what was wrong, and I told her.

—I know you have a lover.

She began to cry. She kept saying that she loved me, and that got me upset. So, I asked how could she love me and have a lover. Then, she explained everything to me.

She didn’t have a lover. Instead, She went to a Shibari studio to play bottom. She liked it. She had always had a thing for restraint, but she couldn’t admit it in front of me because, as wonderful as I was as a man and a husband, I was an old-fashioned lover, and she was afraid I wouldn’t accept that guilty pleasure. Nothing sexual had ever happened at the studio; Shibari was not just about sex. And she would be immensely happy if I agreed to tie her.

She was right about something: I was truly old-fashioned. Creativity was not part of our sex life. It was just something that we did, like all marriages do, in the “normal” way.

I agreed to take a workshop with her. No more Secret Shibari for us, we would share it from now on. It’s been six months since then, and it couldn’t be better.

This is my Shibari story.