Forget 50 Shades

Forget 50 Shades. It is not sexy. It is dumb. Let’s be honest, it just didn’t get it. It took things literally, and when pain is pain, and submission is submission, there’s nothing sexy about it.

You see, I know this because I practice Shibari, the ancient Japanese art of tying and getting tied. I know that sounds as boring as a history lesson, but, believe me, it is not. Shibari is not about tying someone to make them vulnerable so you can abuse them. It is about trusting another person so much to let yourself be tied by them and enjoying the calm and new perspective that comes along with it. It is also about putting your partner in a position of vulnerability, without hurting them. And that’s just the beginning. 

Shibari is all about communication and shared emotions. Things can go beyond the edge, but only because you want them to go beyond the edge. Because you dare. And that’s powerful. Exploring your boundaries and then pushing them away can be one of the most exhilarating experiences you can ever have. And it is even better if you do it together, if you share every step of the journey.

As for the emotions involved, what can I tell you? For some people, it can be the source of an unknown tranquility, something very rare in a world where everybody is always rushing somewhere. For others, it can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Yet, for some other people, it can be an act of beauty, something wonderful.

My point is, you don’t have to de dumb to practice Shibari. It is not some foolish power game for people who never overcame adolescence. It is a sensual, artistic, psychological expression of pleasure and beauty. I know. I’ve been there. It’s part of my life.

So, forget 50 Shades and embrace Shibari, instead.