The Invisible Bond

A Shibari scene needs three ropes that intertwine with each other. The first one is the physical rope, which accounts for the shape and strength of the scene. The second one is the emotional connection between top and bottom, which can be extremely intense. The third one is the professional bond between rigger and bunny, made of skill, care, and mutual trust. This is the invisible bond between rigger and bottom.

On the one hand, the rope bond and the professional bond are visible. This means they have a tangible support in reality. There is plenty of information about the qualities and characteristics of the Shibari ropes. Likewise, the professional bond stems from a contract or, in the case of amateurs, of a strong mutual interest.

The emotional bond, on the other hand, is invisible. It begins with an unavoidable attitude of respect from top to bottom and vice versa. It also implies the acknowledgment of the bottom’s vulnerability and the consequent responsibility of the top to take care of them.

Very frequently there’s a strong sexual tension in a Shibari scene, regardless of the situation between the top and the bottom (whether they are partners, a couple, members of the same community, or strangers). Another factor of this invisible bond is the power exchange, which is the strongest BDSM element in a Shibari scene. It is important to remember that this is not a fixed element because it can change in any given scene (and within the same scene). 

Finally, the pain-pleasure dynamic also permeates this invisible bond. A Shibari scene which tends to be more aesthetic will be a lot “softer” in terms of this dynamic, whereas a Kinbaku scene oriented toward torture and punishment will be a lot “harder” in regards to the balance between pain and pleasure.

Now you know everything you need about the invisible bond in a Shibari scene.