Talking During a Shibari Scene

Communication is essential for the success of a Shibari scene. Actually, there’s a lot of talking during a Shibari scene. However, it’s not—or it shouldn’t be—the kind of chitchat that you can allow at a party or another social occasion. Communication during Shibari is strongly purpose-driven. After all, it is the best channel for the participants to exchange their impressions, emotions, and concerns regarding the scene.

So, for an effective dialogue during a Shibari scene, the first consideration you have to take is to make a conscious effort to keep it brief. Long speeches are useless during a bondage scene. Since it is a work in progress, you cannot bring things to a halt just because you want to keep talking. Try to speak for no longer than half a minute every time you address your partner.

Second advice: make it clear. Vague expressions, such as “something,” “better,” “bad”, and such are pointless. They demand a process of interpretation from your partner. And they can be easily misunderstood. To avoid these problems, try to use specific words. “Something’s wrong” is ineffective, whereas “I feel pain in my ankle” is something your partner can do something about.

Another important criterion is to speak only about what’s important at any given moment during the scene. There are people who love to talk about whatever comes to their heads. However, this can ruin a Shibari scene. An easy rule of thumb is to speak only about those things that you feel your partner has to know about. If a certain scene reminds you of what happened six years ago with another partner, that can wait. On the other hand, if you have an idea that could significantly improve the scene, do not hesitate to discuss it with your partner.

As you can see, talking during a Shibari scene is one of the most important aspects of a bondage experience.