Aftercare

Aftercare

Just as it is rude to fall asleep right after sex, it is not right to end a Shibari scene just by untying your partner in silence and then saying goodbye in a hurry. A Shibari scene, even a simple one, is an intense experience, both physically and emotionally. Therefore, it is important to take some time to assimilate it. This phase of the scene is the aftercare.

The first step is rehydration. It’s a good idea that, after all the effort, participants drink either water or a sports drink. It is also important to see if your partner needs any minor physical attention. Participants, especially the bottom, should not stretch immediately, but rather allow their muscles to recover movement at their own pace. 

As for the emotional side of aftercare, participants must decide between cuddling and closeness or time to be alone and process what just happened. Each person has their own way to deal with the experience. And, it is important to respect it and give space. 

Depending on the level of intimacy among participants, a mutual massage or a shower together can be an excellent choice for the aftercare period. You can also eat together, although a heavy meal is not recommended.

Aftercare can include conversation about the experience of the scene, or you can deliberately avoid the topic. Once again, every couple has its own way. For some, it would be redundant and boring to talk about what just happened. On the other hand, for others, it is the perfect way to process it and confer meaning to it.

A few days after the scene, it is suggested to have a conversation among partners. Perceptions and emotions sometimes change after a couple of days, so it is important to verify that everyone involved in the scene is still feeling okay about it.

Aftercare is not just good manners. It has to do with the emotional need of closure and meaning, and with the intense level of communication, verbal and non-verbal, that develops among participants in a Shibari scene. Try it, you will see it adds value to the whole experience.

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