Sex Menu

Japanese bondage offers two different versions. Shibari focuses on the aesthetic value of the scene, as well as in the emotional connection among participants. Kinbaku, on the other hand, keeps a stronger focus on the erotic aspects of the scene, and is frequently sexual, whether it is only by including some teasing and arousal elements, or by embracing full sexual intercourse. So, for a Kinbaku scene, participants should discuss the sex menu.

A sex menu is a list of sexual activities, which each partner scores individually, indicating how much they would like to try it. In brief, it is a sexual wish list. Its purpose is to find common ground. The idea is to include in the scene practices which all participants feel comfortable performing or are curious about. Moreover, it is a tool that enhances communication among partners. 

It is important, for the sex menu to work, that participants express openly what they would like and would not like to try. If a participant scores highly an option just because they know that their partners like it, or vice versa, if they score lowly an option which they like but that they know their partner doesn’t like, the whole purpose of the sex menu is ruined.

Participants can also score how risky or uncomfortable each practice may be, according to their particular health conditions. This is important to keep things safe during the scene.

In the end, partners must agree on a top five or a top three, not just because they are the options which scored higher, but because they have thoroughly and openly discussed the practices to which they feel more attracted, and those that are uninteresting or uncomfortable for them.

A sex menu is an effective tool to improve any Kinbaku scene.