Acceptance

Acceptance is not easy. We tend to believe that we accept ourselves, each other, and the world we live in. However, if we begin to question our relationship to ourselves, the others, and the environment we live in, we will see that things get complicated.

Self-acceptance begins with the acceptance of your own body. This is easier said than done. Otherwise, people all over the world wouldn’t spend huge amounts of money on plastic surgery. And we wouldn’t see so many people with fake, improved, or otherwise worked-on parts of their body. Shibari contributes to acceptance because it makes people focus on their bodies. You cannot make a successful scene without being aware of your body. And awareness is the first step toward love.

Bondage also demands an acceptance of your own desires. We believe that we live in a free society. However, when we discuss our desires, we realize just how many prohibitions and taboos still float in the air. The list of controversial and unacceptable practices is still quite long. Shibari invites participants to openly discuss their desires. By doing so, it allows for the therapeutic effect of acknowledging what we really want.

Limits are part of life. We live in an age that proclaims that everything is possible. However, this kind of attitude can only lead to disaster, especially if you’re doing a bondage scene. Shibari is an invitation to the acceptance of our limits. They can be our current limits, and we can strive to overcome and expand them in the future. Or they can be our hard limits, which we know intimately we will never trespass, because we don’t want to.

Finally, Shibari invites us to accept the marks it leaves on us. Not as a sign of injury, or as scars, but rather as symbols of what we have accomplished so far, and what we have been up to this day.