For decades, the DSM has been the most reliable and quoted reference for mental disorders. It has guided the research and therapy of thousands of psychology professionals all around the world. In its latest edition (the DSM 5-IV), it changes its perceptions of the paraphilias (including bondage) from something intrinsically wrong to an unusual preference.…
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Shibari goes way beyond ropes, as we’ve mentioned in previous articles, and as any true rope enthusiast knows. There is a power dynamic involved. And there are also many psychological keys of bondage. If you want to take your scenes to the next level, you should be aware of them. First of all, you should…
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You know the saying: curiosity killed the cat. I would add a second part: but what the cat discovered was worth it, and it died happy. At least, that’s what happened to me. Let me tell you the story. It was the first time I’d been away from my parents for a long time. Properly…
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It’s not unusual for participants in a Shibari scene—especially tops—to reach a point of euphoria. Psychological literature defines it as a state of extreme happiness and an elevated sense of well-being. This, in itself, is not bad. Actually, we spend most of our lives striving to reach such a state. Feeling good and powerful, transcending…
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Acceptance is not easy. We tend to believe that we accept ourselves, each other, and the world we live in. However, if we begin to question our relationship to ourselves, the others, and the environment we live in, we will see that things get complicated. Self-acceptance begins with the acceptance of your own body. This…
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People usually understand vulnerability as the possibility of being hurt or overpowered. So, for example, we say that a place is vulnerable when there are evident ways of trespassing. Likewise, we say of a person that they are vulnerable if we know their secrets or compromising information about them. Vulnerability, in its most basic sense,…
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As any practitioner knows, BDSM encompasses a whole range of practices. From latex to whipping, and from cosplay to spanking, there is something for everybody under the umbrella term of kink. Some of the practices find a wider acceptance, even by people with a decidedly vanilla lifestyle. Whereas others strive to become standard, and a…
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Sebastian Melmoth, a member of the “Free the Kink” Facebook group, posted a series of questions about insecure dominants. This must be a sensible topic for many people, for there were 147 comments, way more than for most of the other posts. The BDSM community frequently discusses the topic of vulnerability. However, they are not…
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Mac Mclaughlin, administrator of the “Free the Kink” Facebook group, posted this question: “Does spirituality play any part in your dynamic?”. There were over forty answers about the relation between sexuality and spirituality, and here we discuss the results. First of all, the answers were divided. This comes as no surprise since statistics consistently show…
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Being the dominant partner comes with many risks, and one of the most serious ones is what psychologists call “power intoxication.” This term refers to an unhealthy psychological state in which a person loses control over their dominant role and becomes reckless and harmful to their partner(s). Power intoxication is a euphoric state that comes…
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