How to Handle CNC

CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) is the current fad in BDSM. It is a form of agreeing to disagree. In other words, partners agree to act as if they were engaging in forced activity. It is important to notice that CNC is not breaching consent. It is more of a roleplaying game in which you play a fantasy of forced sex. Now, since we live in a world where sex is under the microscope like it never was before, it is very important to know how to handle CNC and therefore avoid any negative consequences, including legal ones.

Now, the first thing that you should keep in mind is that CNC is not for first-time couples. It is a terrible idea to try CNC with someone you barely know, for there can be all kinds of misunderstandings, and things can easily get out of control. On the other hand, CNC is ideal for couples who already know each other intimately and know each other’s preferences and hard limits.

Second, decide just how forcible CNC will be. Pinning someone to bed or to a wall is something even vanilla couples do. On the other hand, face slapping, restraint, and other practices might be more controversial. So, make sure, during the previous negotiation of the scene, that all participants agree on the content of the scene. Take as long as you need to make things clear for everyone.

Remember that consent is, or should be, the foundation of all relationships among adults. CNC does not really go against this principle; it only pretends it does. It’s a kind of roleplaying game, and you should never forget that. Agreeing to CNC is not a contradiction but rather a specific way in which consenting adults can act together in order to get satisfaction and enjoy each other.

Now you know how to handle CNC.