Relationship Bill of Rights

Yeshua Avraham, one of the admins of the “Free the Kink” Facebook group, shared what he calls the “Relationship Bill of Rights”, which is a list of principles you should follow if you want your relations to be SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual). Since it is always important to promote healthy, mutually beneficial relations, we share here Yeshua’s “bill”.

The Relationship Bill of Rights

You have the right, without shame, blame or guilt,

In all intimate relationships:

1. to be free from coercion, violence, and intimidation;

2. and to choose the level of involvement and intimacy you want;

3. also to revoke consent to any form of intimacy at any time;

4. likewise, to be told the truth;

5. accordingly, to say no to requests;

6. additionally, to hold and express differing points of view;

7. basically, to feel all your emotions;

8. to feel and communicate your emotions and needs;

9. to set boundaries concerning your privacy needs;

10. to set clear limits on the obligations you will assume;

11. to seek balance between what you give to the relationship and what you get back from your partner;

12. to know that your partner will work with you to resolve any problem that arises;

13. to choose whether you want a monogamous or polyamorous relationship;

14. to grow and change;

15. to make mistakes;

16. to end a relationship;

In poly relationships:

1. to decide how many partners you want,

2. to choose your own partners,

3. to have an equal say with each of your partners in deciding the form your relationship with that partner will take,

4. to choose the level of time and investment you will offer to each partner,

5. to clearly understand any rules that will apply to your relationship before entering into it,

6. to discuss with your partners the decisions that affect you,

7. to have time alone with each of your partners,

8. to enjoy passion and special moments with each of your partners;

In a poly network:

1. to choose the level of involvement and intimacy you want with your partners’ other partners,

2. to make courtesy a must,

3. to seek compromise,

4. to have relationships with people, not with relationships,

5. to have plans made with your partner be respected; for instance, not changed at the last minute for trivial reasons;

6. to be treated as a peer of every other person, not as a subordinate.