From Vanilla to Kinky

“Vanilla” and “kinky” represent two opposite poles of sexuality and, in a broader sense, of the lifestyle each person chooses. “Vanilla” is a term that describes conventional, socially accepted lifestyles, whereas “kinky” encompasses all the alternative lifestyles. Whether a person is “vanilla” or “kinky” is more evident in the way they live their sexuality. In the “Free the Kink” Facebook group, contributor Penelope Innocent asked for comments on how to turn a vanilla relationship into an alternative one. There were over thirty comments, which makes it clear that going from vanilla to kinky is no easy task.

The exact questions Penelope posted were the following: “Can a long-term vanilla relationship turn into a successful kink dynamic? What are the main issues to overcome?”

Most of the members who made comments agreed that it is possible to take a conventional relationship to kinky. However, they pointed out that both partners should agree to it. Many of them actually started their current relationship in a conventional, vanilla style and turned to kink later on. It is also important to notice that everyone agreed on how important it was that all partners involved wanted to try kink. If a person is not willing to try alternative practices for the moment, partners should respect their decision.

As for the issues to overcome, some members mentioned that getting involved in a power dynamic might not be easy at first for people who have never tried it before. Therefore, a transition from vanilla to kinky involves a thorough educational process, and this will certainly take some time.

Participants also mentioned the issue of playing specific roles. In most kinky dynamics, participants play a part, and it is important that they understand it clearly.

Finally, we should mention that many people mentioned the fun inherent in deviant practices as one of the main motivations for making the transition from vanilla to kinky.