Awareness

Would you enjoy the most wonderful music if you were deaf? Certainly not. Well, some people watch and even participate in bondage scenes, and yet, it is as if they were somewhere else, for they don’t seem to realize what’s going on. This is due to their lack of awareness. The Oxford Dictionary defines awareness as “knowledge or perception of a situation or fact.” And it is clear that it is one of the key ingredients of a successful Shibari scene.

The main way to increase awareness during a Shibari scene is to actually be there. This may sound obvious, for your body is obviously there, playing either top or bottom. However, we all know that you can physically be in one place while your mind is somewhere else. So, the first key to increasing awareness is to focus on the scene and realize, with every part of your body, that you are there and nowhere else.

The second key to raising awareness is to process your sensations in greater detail than usual. Every day, we see and hear many things. And yet, at the end of the day, we can barely remember a dozen of those things. Why? Because we scarcely took notice of them. The same can happen in a Shibari scene. To avoid this, focus on every part of your body, a small area at a time, and try to acknowledge what you’re feeling. Try to feel the rope around you. Pay attention to the other senses: sounds, temperature; it all comes into the picture.

Finally, understand your emotions during the scene. Ask yourself what you’re feeling and why. Is it what you expected? Is there something that comes as a surprise to you? Processing your emotions will provide you with insight into your true expectations of a scene.

One more tip: comment on all these with your partner. Discussing the experience together is as important as the scene itself. You’ll see the improvement.