Shibari and Dating

Shibari and dating make for a winning combination. However, as is the case with anything kinky, it’s not something you should try, or even mention, too soon. Even though it is something more widely accepted nowadays, bondage is still in the alternative side of sexuality. So, make sure to introduce it tactfully into the conversation and, if things go well, into the bedroom.

“I like to tie the women I date” or “I enjoy getting tied to get in touch with my submissive side” are not the kind of things you should say on a first date, unless you want your partner to ask for the bill and run away. Remember, kinkiness is a lifestyle and, therefore, a highly personal choice. Make sure to get to know the person well before you bring the topic to the table.

The person you’re dating might also have tried Shibari before. In this case, you can discuss the scene you want to create as two veterans of the ropes would do. However, it is likely that the person in front of you has never handled a rope before. Perhaps they have not even considered the idea. If that’s the case, you should start by demystifying kink and answering all the questions your potential partner may have. Likewise, you should pay close attention to their reaction to what you’re saying. It is easy to notice curiosity and excitement, just as it is easy to recognize perplexity and disgust.

If the person agrees to do a scene, make sure to discuss things thoroughly. Beginners need a longer, more specific negotiation. Make sure that they won’t find any unpleasant surprises, once the scene is in motion. 

Likewise, if the person says “no”, respect their decision and don’t insist. They might not be ready for kink yet, or they might not be kinky at all. In either case, you won’t get a positive answer right now.